Michelle Shrader

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Proverbs 27:6

There has been lots of conversation this past week about an incident at the Oscar’s where Chris Rock referenced Jada Pinkett Smith in a joke, saying “Jada, I love ya, GI-Jane 2, can’t wait to see it.”  His joke was referencing the similarity of her bald head to Demi Moore’s in the movie GI-Jane.  Demi shaved her head intentionally for her role in the movie.  Jada is bald because she suffers from an auto immune disorder, alopecia, which causes hair loss.  Will Smith, Jada’s husband, took the stage and smacked Chris, telling him to keep his wife’s name out of his, f-ing mouth.

First, I want to say that when I saw Jada in her Oscar dress, with her bald head, she looked strong, and she looked beautiful.  Her choice of green was a powerful color for her.  I was encouraged by her, because I too have a bald head, from the chemo that I pray has just about kicked my lymphoma.  Most of the conversation is about Will and Chris’ altercation.  When I looked Jada’s name up, to be sure I had the correct spelling, the image of her in her green dress was not what I saw.  There was commentary about Will Smith and Chris Rock.  If you watch the video of that night, the look on her face speaks volumes.  I don’t know what was going on in her head, but I must imagine she was thinking, “come on now, not funny.”  It wasn’t funny.

There are two moments that struck me.  One was the influence that Denzel Washington had as this scene unfolded.  Will shared what he said to him when he drew near to him, “At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes.”  When you see the close-up of Denzel’s face, you can see he wasn’t laughing.  I love how he drew near to Will to give him strength.  With tears streaming down his face, Will apologized.  He later put out another apology stating, “violence in all its forms is destructive.”  I want to be clear that I don’t condone violence, but I also want to be clear, that I don’t think Will was the only one who committed violence. 

The other moment that struck me was Will’s tears.  He shared that he wasn’t crying because he won an award.  I don’t think he was crying because he hit Chris, maybe he was, but who am I to know.  I have to wonder if the tears came from a place in his spirit that was saying something like, “you just don’t know…this journey for us has been hard.”  I don’t condone Will smacking Chris Rock, but I celebrate that he has friends like Denzel Washington that draw near when you need them, I celebrate that he is humble enough in spirit to say, hey what I did was wrong, and I am thankful that he and his wife have each other on a journey that I am sure has been hard.  None of us are perfect, but when you can admit you’ve been wrong, there is strength in that.

I don’t know what I would have done if I were seated at the Oscar’s that night.  It is very likely that I might have laughed awkwardly, then thought to myself, “wait, that wasn’t funny.”  I have had the gift of being able to wonder about all this outside of the context of having been there.  Yet, where I stand now, is that I am waiting for Chris Rock to apologize.  I hope others that were seated reach out to Jada and say, “I am sorry.  I laughed.  That wasn’t cool.”  Will said, “violence in all its forms is destructive.”  Some of the most lasting violence is the violence we do with our words.  Jada Pinkett Smith is beautiful and strong and I am grateful for her witness.  When you see me wearing green this week, you’ll know why.  It will be my, shout out to Jada, from one bald woman to another.  That’s all.

As always, I am grateful to be…

With you on the journey,

Michelle